“You have cancer”, he murmured as he nervously adjusted his charcoal bifocals. The doctor continued to speak as I mentally fell into another dimension. The tall gangly man paced back and forward across the narrow room as I tuned out his voice. I was speechless, my heart ached, and my mind was numb. “Mam… Mam…are you ok?”, the doctor said with a concerned mug on his face. His large hand rested on my shoulder in effort to comfort my soul. Instead, it lassoed me back into reality. “Yeah, I’m fine”, my raspy voice whispered. “You should consider yourself lucky. It’s in the earliest stages, easy to take care of, and you’ll have minimal scaring. Others with melanoma aren’t so lucky.”, he jokingly declared. “So, what happens next?”, I uttered perching my self agents the mint green wall.
My hands trembled as my thoughts over powered the doctors lecture. “I’m not ready to die”, echoed within, despite the doctor’s best efforts to down play the situation. Mental photographs of my loved ones projected in my minds eye, a loop of my fondest memories on replay. A knot began to form in my throat, and amber eyes swelled with salty tears. Suddenly, I was over whelmed with regret. My life thus far consisted of myself lifelessly wondering, awaiting the next puppeteer to pull on my strings. I had allowed my self to live a life of people pleasing, fulfilling the desires of others.
It took dodging death for me to declare control of my life again. Under the spell of misconception, and bonded by my lion sized heart of kindness, I only thought I was in control. However, that day I took a leap of faith, spread my wings, and began to soar onward toward freedom and a fulfilled life. Don’t let death knocking on your door be your wake up call. Are you in control? Are you living a fulfilled life? If not, its time to fight the good fight and take back what is yours.
New year new you!
Keep your glass half full,
Join me on the journey of eternal empowerment and positivity!
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